When you get too close, it’s like fire — it burns you and leaves you charred.
When you get too far, you shiver in the cold and freeze.
That, exactly, is human relationships.
In relationships, the right distance is everything.
We want to get closer, to make someone “our person,”
to lean on someone and feel that sense of sameness.
So we try to pull people in, make them part of our inner circle.
But that closeness often turns to poison. In the end, there are countless relationships in this world that collapse into mutual resentment and bitterness.
Words that poke at someone’s pride, actions that belittle them, a mocking tone, anger when they don’t behave the way we expected, and careless behavior that embarrasses them in front of others —
Because we think, “We’re close,” we treat them lightly. Without even realizing it, we spit out words that turn into thorns stuck in their heart.
If there were more distance between you, you’d never even imagine saying or doing those things. But the words are said, the wounds are given, and those wounds sink deep into the other person’s unconscious. These wounds linger there for years, resurfacing as pain again and again.
A healthy amount of distance is the minimum safety device
that keeps us from hurting and being hurt.
Some people feel uneasy when others keep an intentional distance.
But most of them are probably people
who simply haven’t been hurt enough yet in relationships.
In the end, life is solitary.
If there’s someone by your side, that’s wonderful —
but you don’t need many.
The more people you keep close,
the more people there are who can hurt you and be hurt by you.
The ideal kind of relationship is the kind where you don’t see each other too often, don’t message all the time. But every now and then you think of them, check in with a “How are you?” and grab a drink together if your schedules line up. It’s something light, easy, and pressure-free.
If you have someone like that in your life, you’re lucky.
Even if you haven’t talked in a long time or haven’t seen each other for ages, there’s no sense of hurt or resentment between you.
You just have this quiet trust:
We’ll see each other again someday,
and when we do, it won’t be awkward.
There’s no need to stress over “networking” or “maintaining connections.”
If it falls apart the moment you stop putting in effort,
it was an illusion to begin with.
Most people only come to realize this truth
when they’re already in the second half of life.
By then, you can’t rewind anything,
so you convince yourself you’ve chosen the right paths,
comforting yourself with that thought.
It’s all a bit empty and meaningless.
If there is someone beside you right now — if there is even one person who is with you — that alone is enough.
All you can feel is gratitude.
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